Lizzie for Free : a yogi's blog
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Learnings from Lizzie’s 30 Day Yoga Challenge
With the 30 Day Yoga Challenge over, there is a lot to contemplate. Originally planned rather haphazardly to extend outwards into the wider London yoga community and to break myself out of my preferences for certain yoga classes and teachers, far more came up than I imagined. As a result I have learned both personally and professionally, and even made a couple of new friends along the way. Most valuable for me have been the themes that revealed themselves in my practice as well as my personal life during this past month.
SANTOSHA
The word in sanskrit for contentment, or satisfaction is santosha. One of the niyamas, santosha is about being satisfied with things exactly as they are; not requiring any more or any less, instead, maintaining that everything is exactly as it should be. I’ve spent a lot of time speculating on this idea this month, as a yoga teacher and student, as a mother, as a human being. It’s so easy to find fault in ourselves and others, and often much more challenging to accept wholeheartedly what is. This is true whether contemplating the asana practice, assessing how well one has done one’s job, accepting the opportunities available at any given time, or one’s limitations. We are all doing the best we can given our current life situations, and, try as we may, it is impossible and debilitating to compare ourselves to anyone else. We are all unique.
VAIRAGYA
The concept of santosha has a direct relationship with the word vairagya, meaning dispassionate or non attachment. When we are content with what is, it is far easier to practice non-judgement, to remain impartial. When engaged in a critique of a movie, a piece of art, a book, or a yoga studio, there are always aspects that are primarily subjective, based on our own preferences and aversions, but there are also aspects that are more objective. One of the challenges in this month has been discerning the difference between the two and trying to be as objective as possible. As time permits me to read back on these posts, I may well have to glue my jaw back on as I discover just how opinionated I actually was in my writings.
SAMSAYA
The feeling of doubt is one of the nine obstacles to the practice of yoga as set forth in sutra 1.30 of The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Samsaya means doubt, or indecision in Sanskrit. When we are uncertain about our path, who our teacher is, what we want to focus on in our lives, things become fuzzy, and we may end up floundering. For example, if you practice with two different yoga teachers and they each tell you how to practice a pose differently, this may lead to indecision and doubt about how to practice. This has come up often for me as a Jivamukti teacher and practitioner of several different styles of yoga. Lately I have had many doubts about my teaching and bodywork style, and have been indecisive about which way to evolve. This challenge has highlighted some of these doubts as I have practiced with such a variety of teachers and styles of yoga. One thing does seem to be clear, and that is which teachers and styles don’t appeal to me (or is that simply my preferences and aversions rearing their ugly head?).
SHRADDHA
The antedote to samsaya, shraddha means faith; knowing without a shred of doubt that there is something bigger, more supreme than yourself behind the wheel. This is the ultimate form of surrender, enabling the doer to come back to contentment and joy at whatever presents itself. Raised agnostic, I never had any faith until I began practicing yoga regularly, and because of this, my faith is very much tied to my practice. When I have doubts, when I feel I’m slipping into the role of ‘victim’, I use my time on the mat or on the cushion to bring myself back to the many choices available. Knowing there is always a choice is empowering, and working through negative mental subtexts with the optin of letting go is perhaps the most powerful choice there is. This month I have felt frustrated, at times even disconnected from my faith due to the change in practice mode. I have spent more time ‘doing’ yoga than practicing yoga, and it’s time for me to reconnect to my personal guiding light.
There is so much more to write, but I’m not publishing a book, it’s just a little blog post. Having said this, its about to get a few words longer still because I wanted to also briefly mention ASMITA, the ego. We all have one, and more than once I felt mine flair in judgement mode about a teacher’s style or particular yoga studio. I have also spent time questioning ‘who am I’ to judge or critique another teacher’s class. I never intended this to be a critique, but it’s simply a natural progression when taking a yoga class a day at different studios with different teachers to have an opinion about them. Some will resonate, some won’t. Some will be inspiring and safe for the body, some won’t. I guess I feel ok in having published my experiences because I wasn’t doing anything out of ill intention, and at the end of the day we all entitled to our opinions and to have a voice.
I chose the classes For the challenge primarily due to my schedule and proximity, and for this reason I wanted to point out that there are a number of great teachers whose classes I really wanted to attend, but was simply unable to in the course of this month. As a result, I took a number of mediocre classes with teachers I had never heard of. I will continue to take as many classes with different teachers as I can manage, but perhaps I will go about choosing the teachers in a more strategic way, for example, visiting teachers I know and love a little more frequently, and finding new teachers based on recommendations rather than choosing names out of a hat. I would also like to return to the classes I didn’t love, knowing that we all have off days.
Signing off for now, thanks for following my little yoga adventure.
Day 29, Lizzie’s 30 Day Yoga Challenge
I exchanged my practice time today for a long planned lunch date with family and friends outside of the city where we dined on delicious home cooked Pakistani food. There was no time as the journey was several hours and I taught in the morning. I know, excuses, excuses.
I’m so looking forward to returning to the mat tomorrow, where I plan to go to Mollie McClelland’s class at Triyoga Chelsea. I’ve known Mollie for a few years now but have never had the opportunity to practice with her. Afterwards the plan is to return to Anoushka’s pilates class if the universe allows for it. My body feels very ready to work!
Tomorrow will be the last day of the challenge, but I gather I will continue to try to take new classes whenever I have the chance. With a few exceptions, one of the things I’ve realised is that my general preferences are for the teachers I’ve been practicing with for some time already, but then, that’s probably to be expected. We are creatures of habit and like to know what to expect- most of the time, anyway. More on that in my post on Findings Week 4…
Day 28, Lizzie’s 30 Day Yoga Challenge
For the forth time this week, I’ve been denied engaging actively with my body. The universe is nothing short of blatant in telling me to back off asana practice for now, as much as my preferentially attached mind wants to hit the mat and engage with the physical. Taking from Pema Chōdron’s analogy, I have had an itch (to practice asana), and my mindfulness practice has been becoming aware of that, acknowledging it, and staying with it without scratching. Instead, I’ve surrendered to letting this path unfold.
Today I attended Zhenja’s 4 hour workshop for teachers with the theme of Puja, assuming for there would be an aspect of asana practice as I heard the previous weekends’ workshops with Zhenja were quite asana intensive. Instead, it was a four hour exploration of the concept of puja and the Anusara method for creating puja in a class. It was quite interesting to gain insight into this style of yoga with such a structured framework and language of its own, and valuable as an exercise for creating focus, rationale and sequencing relevant to a class’ esoteric focus.
The best part of the workshop was Zhenja herself. Intelligent, down to earth, authentic and energetic, Zhenja was present throughout the entire workshop as an approachable, passionate, inquisitive yogi, ambassador to the Anusara method and disciple of Jon Friend. There was no posturing, just respect and palpable love. Even towards the end when energy began to drop, Zhenja made her way around to the smaller groups to help regain the focus.
Meanwhile, my experience of Anusara yoga continues to unfold. I’m challenged by the shiny, contemporary packaging of the ancient teachings and practicing reserving judgement…after all, these newer methods are devised in part to articulate the vastness of the history and teachings of yoga in a more approachable way. Watch this space….and tomorrow, the 29the Day of the Yoga Challenge, holds a wild card; let’s see where the practice and the challenge lead me…
Teaching Yoga and Meditation to Doctors
On Wednesday afternoon I found myself at St. Mary’s hospital in the presence of 35 GPs teaching them a class on yoga, meditation and relaxation. Having grown up in a medical family and very often in the role of ‘patient’, it was refreshing to, for once, share some of my knowledge with the physicians. I observed the group without the stethoscopes and dangling name tags; they behaved as any other social group in a position of exposinga new aspect of themselves to their peers. Not unlike a high school class, at first there was nervous laughter, joking around and ambivalence during the warm up. Eventually the whole group relaxed and embraced the movement as well as the breathing exercises, even in the middle of their busy day. The relaxation at the end crescendo’d into an orchestra of snores.
I know there are many critics of the NHS, but I was impressed at the initiative to offer alternative methods for the physicians to stay healthy in mind and body; this was one of a series of ‘lectures’ offering alternate perspectives on ‘medical’ subject matter. I can’t imagine this happening in the US at a free hospital. I would love to be told otherwise!
I so appreciated having the opportunity to take the yoga practice outside the studio and into the world. Om shanti.
Day 25, Lizzie’s 30 Day Yoga Challenge
I used my second ‘self-practice card’ today as scheduling overtook me, though I wasn’t actually alone. My nearly two year old son was with me, which, as you may imagine, changes things immensely.
He’s old enough now that he wants his own mat and tries to mimic downward dog, shalabhasana, lunges and can teach me a few things about virasana alignment. Mainly though, he vacillates between climbing on, running around, and lying under me, bringing books and assorted cars onto my mat (not his), and repeating his first word, ‘yucky’ whenever possible (and it’s always possible). We do manage to fit in some rock and roll navasanas and acroyoga variations, where – go figure – I’m always the base.
Tomorrow I’m going to lose some challenge points as I’ll return to Richard’s class at Iyengar Institute. It’s the only free time I’ll have tomorrow as it turns out, and after today’s toddler yoga, it’s a little gift to myself.
There’s still 5 days left! I would love to see You next to me on the mat! Any class suggestions?
Day 24, Lizzie’s 30 Day Yoga Challenge
I went to class today at the Life Centre, where Mark Hill was covering for Kathy Roberts. A class heavy on pranayama, we practiced samavritti antar kumbhaka and rechaka, agnisara, nadi shodhana and after savasana, 10 minutes of meditation. In between there was trikonasana, Astanga A and B, , virabhadrasana I, janursirsasana and mahamudra, which Mark taught as a version of janursirsasana with inhale and exhale retention. After class, I felt pretty spacey and tired, and ended up cancelling on a private client (which I rarely do) because I felt so trippy.
The class format in itself was a little choppy and felt unbalanced to me – too much pranayama and too little asana; it was billed as a dynamic 2-3 class on the schedule.
Pranayama on an intensive level isn’t to be dabbled with from time to time, or taken too intensively with an unfamiliar group of students. As the Hatha Yoga Pradipika notes, “When the yogi has perfected his asanas he should practice pranayama according to the instructions of his master. With controlled senses he should nourish himself with moderation.” The body needs time and a daily practice to acclimate to these powerful practices, and should ideally be practiced with a teacher whom you know and trust.
The explanation of mahamudra left me perplexed; it was explained as a variation of an asana, specifically, janursirsasana, combined with specific breath techniques. Mark didn’t take the time to explain the word mudra in any depth, and while he did tell us at the beginning of class we would be working up to this posture, mahamudra, he didn’t clarify the difference between the mudra and the asana, or the relationship between the two.
Mark was a kind and encouraging teacher, and the one adjustment I received in downward dog was strong. This said, the pivotal information given to the class, namely, mahamudra and its relationship to the spine (it was mentioned that the cases would focus on the anatomy of the spine) lacked depth, and diluted the importance of these ancient, powerful teachings. I will revisit his class in the spring, as I’ve decided to do with all the classes I’ve taken during the challenge.
Tomorrow’s schedule has changed! I am giving a workshop on yoga and meditation to 35 GPs at St. Mary’s hospital at the time of Sally’s class at Indaba, so another practice wild card. Stay tuned…
Day 19, Lizzie’s 30 Day Yoga Challenge
When I arrived at Evolve Wellness Centre in South Kensington, I wasn’t sure I had the right time or day for the class, or even whether or not the studio was open; it was so …quiet. But the door was open, and there was a woman at the front desk who confirmed I had the right time, Una’s class was about to start. It was 4pm, and while the class was due to start imminently, no one was in the studio, or in the ladies changing room, or in the ladies toilets. However, there were two people sitting having tea on the sofa just outside the studio, so I opted to go in and set myself up in supta baddha konasana to relax. Fifteen minutes passed by, and I heard the woman at reception addressing the women on the sofas. “I’m sorry”, she said, “Una is running late, but she’s on her way. If you don’t want to wait we will refund your money and comp you a class, but she should be here soon”.
The two women entered the studio and discussed if they should stay or leave. All three of us were there at Evolve for the first time. I was unsure of whether to stay for an abbreviated class, but When I learned of the time, I decided to leave. After all, I paid for parking only until 5:15pm, and without knowing when she would arrive I thought it wouldn’t leave much time for a practice. So in the end, without being comped a free class, I left.
The space itself as well as the woman working at the front desk seemed nice enough, but I didn’t get the sense it was a fully functioning yoga studio. It’s a pity, but having one off experience can fix one’s perception of a place, regardless of how lively and well-functioning it may be at other times of day. I have heard it is a nice place to practice, but in all honesty I probably won’t make the effort to return again anytime soon.
On reflection, it would have been appropriate for the receptionist to come in right at 4pm to inform us there was a delay. Waiting fifteen minutes to tell us we would have to wait longer was inconsiderate – I spent nearly an hour of my time and almost 20 pounds when all was said and done (childcare, parking) to leave without having actually gone to a yoga class. I was a little let down.
I don’t expect to hear from Evolve in the form of an email or telephone call about todays’s experience, even though I gave away all my personal information prior to taking the class on their consent form. My sense is that they aren’t really on top of things and no one is looking after the students to ensure they are satisfied. Hopefully I’m wrong, and Una was just having a bad day. It can happen to us all.
Looking forward to practicing with Graham tomorrow at the Life Centre, Notting Hill. I love Graham’s energy and his commitment to teaching and studying on an esoteric level. I only wish I could stay for the much anticipated ‘fire meditation’ that he promised. Sadly I will have to slip out to get to my class on time at Indaba Yoga Studio…4pm!
Day 19, Lizzie’s 30 day Yoga Challenge
When I arrived at Evolve Wellness Centre in South Kensington, I wasn’t sure I had the right time or day for the class I thought I was meant to take, or even whether or not the studio was open. The door was open, and there was a woman at the front desk who confirmed I had the right time, and Una’s class was about to start. It was 4pm, and while the class was due to start imminently, no one was in the studio, or in the ladies changing room, or in the ladies toilets. However, there were two people sitting having tea on the sofa just outside the studio, so I opted to go in and set myself up in supta baddha konasana to relax. Fifteen minutes passed by, and I heard the woman at reception addressing the women on the sofas. “I’m sorry”, she said, “Una is running late, but she’s on her way. If you don’t want to wait we will refund your money and comp you a class, but she should be here soon”.
The two women entered the studio and discussed if they should stay or leave. All three of us were there at Evolve for the first time. When I learned of the time, I decided to leave. After all, I paid for parking only until 5:15pm, and without knowing when she would arrive I thought it wouldn’t leave much time for a practice. So in the end, without being comped a free class, I left.
The space itself as well as the woman working at the front desk seemed nice enough, but I didn’t get the sense it was a fully functioning yoga studio. It’s a pity, but having one off experience like this can fix one’s perception of a place, regardless of how lively and well-functioning it may be at other times of day. I have heard it is a nice place to practice, but in all honesty I probably won’t make the effort to return again anytime soon.
On reflection, it would have been appropriate for the receptionist to come in right at 4pm to inform us there was a delay. Waiting fifteen minutes to tell us we would have to wait longer was inconsiderate – I spent nearly an hour of my time and almost 20 pounds when all was said and done (childcare, parking) to leave without having actually gone to a yoga class. I was a little let down.
I don’t expect to hear from Evolve in the form of an email or telephone call about todays’s experience, even though I gave away all my personal information prior to taking the class on their consent form. My sense is that they aren’t really on top of things and no one is looking after the students to ensure they are satisfied. Hopefully I’m wrong, and Una was just having a bad day. It can happen to us all.
Looking forward to practicing with Graham tomorrow at the Life Centre, Notting Hill. I love Graham’s energy and his commitment to teaching and studying on an esoteric level. I only wish I could stay for the much anticipated ‘fire meditation’ that he promised. Sadly I will have to slip out to get to my class on time at Indaba Yoga Studio…4pm!
Schedule for Week 3, Lizzie’s 30 Day Yoga Challenge
Providing there are no last minute schedule changes, the yoga schedule for week 3 is looking as follows:
MONDAY: 1:45-3pm Pilates and Dance Open, Yacun Abdurehim (Triyoga Chelsea)
TUESDAY: ?
WEDNESDAY: 12:15-1:45pm, Vinyasa Flow Kate Walker (Harrell) (Triyoga Primrose Hill) OR Hot Power Hour Sally Parkes (Indaba Yoga Studio, 12:30-1:30pm)
THURSDAY: 4-5:15pm Yoga Flow, Una (Evolve Wellness)
FRIDAY: 2:15-3:45pm Graham Burns (Life Centre, Notting Hill)
SATURDAY: ?
If you have suggestions for the next week or in the event my schedule shifts, I’d love to hear them! Thanks for the recommendations to everyone so far, it’s always a balance between my sons schedule, my teaching and therapy schedule.
Day 13, Lizzie’s 30 Day Yoga Challenge
My practice schedule changed today as I was unable to attend Elinore Burke’s Astanga class at the Life Centre, Notting Hill. I did make it to Bridget Stacey Luff’s class at Indaba Yoga Studio where she has been covering Leila Sadahee’s 1:30-3pm class for several weeks.
A small, mixed-level class, Stacey introduced the theme of Saraswati, the goddess of Flow (and knowledge, arts, music, science and technology). She suggested we use the breath to keep flowing throughout the class, and offered us a lovely flowing asana sequence based on her theme.
To accomodate the range of student’s abilities, Stacey gave the class lots of variations and options to increase or decrease the class’ challenge, and we practiced a variety postures such as vrksasana, parsvabakasana, parivtti utkatasana and parivritta hasta padangusthasana.
During savasana Stacey chanted the Anusara invocation, and i was convinced there was an angel in the room. She has an A M A Z I N G voice.
Tomorrow I hope you can join join me for Claudia Dossena’s class at Indaba from 11:15-1:15pm. Happy Friday the Magic 13th!
