Lizzie for Free : a yogi's blog
The Free State of LizArchive for teaching
Leading and being led
In life, we’re constantly invited to play in spaces existing at opposing ends of the spectrum. We are caregivers, decision makers and leaders of teams in some capacity, yet at the same time, we have all been looked after by others, have had to surrender to someone else’s choices and ‘go with the flow’. At one time or another, willing or not, we’ve all been led out of darkness.
Who has led you, and when what are the traits that has enabled you to let go of the reigns?
For me, the most inspiring leaders are those that celebrate the opportunities to be led themselves. It marks the sign of great self-confidence to let go and entrust another being with your time, whether it be for a staff meeting, a yoga class, or taking the hand of a young child wanting to lead you to the next activity.
I remember a time years ago when I fell into a position managing a large group, many of whom were older than I and fearful of losing their jobs. It was difficult for me to lead that group, and I’m sure it showed. Every day I woke up pretending; pretending to know where I was ‘leading’ the team, pretending to know how to engage the group and build enthusiasm about learning to work differently, pretending to have answers for my superiors about who and how to downsize. I wasn’t a very good leader, in part because I wasn’t prepared to be led by the group, and because I didn’t take the first step, there was no mutual trust.
As a yoga teacher, sometimes I’m in the role of a leader. During this time I observe people in the class, some of whom have a difficult time letting go and being led. I give vocal instruction to come into an asana, and inevitably certain students decide not to follow my lead, preferring to do the posture a different way, or doing something else altogether. As a yoga student myself, I understand that sometimes injury and life circumstance take us on a detour from the led class. Sometimes, however, we deter from the teacher or the group because the mind overtakes us, reminding us about things like: how our other, favorite yoga teacher teaches the pose, deciding to do it that way; or reminding us that we are professionals at urdhva dhanurasana (wheel pose) so there is no need to go through the process to better align the arms and feet to stabilise the shoulders and hips; or reminding us that we did a perfect headstand last week so there is no problem in tuning the teacher’s instruction out and just jumping up into it. The point is, there are an infinite number of ways to practice and teach yoga. David Life once said, “when you go to a yoga class, throw away anything another teacher may have taught you in the past. For those 90 minutes, give the teacher leading the class your attention and trust, and allow yourself to be led.” This has stuck with me, not just in yoga class, but in life.
We are all dynamically moving between states of leading aspects of our lives and being led in others. When we are able to acknowledge this and let go of the need to dominate or control certain elements, the flow of life is steady and vibrant. People will be more inspiring to follow, and as a result, we are be more aspirational in our own lives.
“Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One who is leading.”
― Oswald Chambers
Slowing Down
When I made the decision to change careers 6 years ago, I had a very different perspective on the world. At that moment in my life any job seemed that it would be less stressful than the one I was in, and I looked around me and was envious of those appearing not to be stressed. I was especially intrigued with those teaching yoga, imagining it impossible to be stressed in that type of job situation. I remember lying in bed in Amsterdam one Sunday afternoon looking out my enormous windows at the cyan sky watching the little white puffy clouds go by, thinking, if only this moment could last forever. A moment where I didn’t need to do anything; a moment where I wasn’t all consumed by my Very Busy Brain thinking fearfully about my Very Important Job.
Years later, as a yoga teacher, I know too many yoga teachers and therapists who are stressed, becoming increasingly busy with the small stuff: scheduling appointments, classes, workshops, retreats….consumed by the running of the business rather than creating space to slow down and lead by example. I should know, I have been one of them.
Only by injury and illness have I learned that space is necessary in the continuing path to wellness and evolution of the mindfulness practice of yoga. It seems to be a fine balancing act for all between work, play, a disciplined practice of asana and meditation, and time for family, which often doesn’t fit into any of these categories but is no less important.
The rhythm of life is one like the ebb and flow of the tide: constantly changing, consistent in its inconsistency, sometimes rough but flowing, other times calm to a point of intertia. We are all born to surf, going for it when a big wave comes yet doing our best to remain calm and fluid, not to get blown off the board when the wave is too great or to get sucked down when there is no dynamism at all.
Ida Rolf, the founder of the Rolfing technique, referred to this as adaptability and dynamic balance, two of the five principles of Rolfing. Adaptability meaning how flexible, how malleable we are in our bodies and in the circumstances of environment to change and morph to new conditions. Dynamic balance is in keeping with the yin/yang symbol–unifying opposites to create a balance physically, emotionally and mentally.
While Ive never actually managed to surf successfully,since I have been working on slowing down, making time each week to assess if I have enough time for work, play, practice and family, I have found a lot more time for everything. I feel more energised, and less defeated and frustrated at my lack of sense of accomplishment at the end of each day. Thank you, space! Here’s to slowing down for long enough to identify what your needs are and how to feel nurtured and whole.
When Joining Separates
At one point or another, we have all joined a bank, a company, a political party or a book club. Lets face it, subscribing to an organisation is almost a necessity in today’s world in order to function. While I’ve never been an much of a ‘joiner’, I have affiliated myself with groups and schools in the past and still do to some extent today. I love connecting to people who share passions, and savour opportunities to bring people together to make new connections, but in truth, there is something about an organization that leaves me feeling a little funny inside. Perhaps it’s the wearing of a label (though we all do wear various ‘tags’), the superficial fencing in of certain people versus other, the exclusivity, or the various forms of side agenda that may be more or less present depending on the organization. And then there are the politics. One of my dear friends and graduate professors once told me, “only hang out with, only work with people that celebrate you, that bring out your best and make you want to be even better.” If there was an organization that bottled that without all the additives, I’m pretty sure we’d all want to sign up.
Yoga, the state of ‘yoking’ or ‘union’, is the confluence of two things; when two things merge into one. This can happen when the small, individual self merges with the understanding of the universal, collective consciousness; when day becomes night, when the in breath becomes the outbreath, when the state of living transitions into the state of dying. Sometimes, when people seek a connection to others, they ‘join’. There are many things to join: gyms, book clubs, a yoga method or studio, a religion, you name it. But in the most traditional, purest sense of yoga, it’s not something you can ‘join’, rather, it’s something magical you can experience. Present day yoga, however, involving methods, expensive teacher trainings, dogma and heavily marketed yoga studios (not to mention yoga teachers ‘branding’ themselves) creates the potential for division when the original intention implicit in the word was union.
At a pinnacle time in my life, I remember being a philosophy student searching for meaning in the world. I enthusiastically studied the eastern religions, eager to discuss the similarities and differences, the things that resonated for me and the things that didn’t. Without knowing any better, I was “shopping” around for purpose. One day, my professor looked at me and said, “Lizzie, a religion doesn’t have to be something you adhere to or join. You can apply the principles of any religion to your own life and create something meaningful in your life that is all your own- your set of beliefs.” An idea so simple, yet so profound, as been what has shaped my ideas of the world, organised religions, and my yoga practice.
Yoga methods, school, teachers and studios are important and useful in providing insights about one’s individual path to experience yoga. However, if the student doesn’t know to ask questions, or isn’t aware not to take everything at face value, we may be in jeopardy in becoming isolated and separate in a world of others seeking comfort in their insecurity and ignorance by sticking together under a label. This unstable state of being forms cliques and supports ideas that one style, teacher, place, clothing is better than another. It is avidya at is finest hour. The aspirant in this state is a wonderful disciple, but separated from a much richer, more authentic path of union. Inquisition, the right to hold beliefs that are different from the group even while being a member, having a mind and a voice to speak out and up about ones own beliefs are such an important part of self expansion, creativity, and ultimate joy and freedom. Find the place where all these aspects of yourself can be celebrated and augmented, and never be afraid to go against the grain to question what is being taught and to try something new.
Caveat: I am a certified Jivamukti yoga teacher, a method that melds several types of yoga together on a backdrop of asana practice. I am proud of this lineage, I believe my teachers from this method to be two of the world’s talented, creative and generous teachers who have devised one the most thorough, well-balanced yoga teacher training programs available in the world today. However, I don’t subscribe to the idea of a ‘tribe’ within any one yoga school of yoga, nor do I consider myself a member of a specific yoga group. In fact, much of the desire to write a post such as this has been propelled by what I’ve witnessed within the constructs of organised yoga. As in any school of yoga, not all Jivamukti teachers are good, honest or compassionate teachers, and I don’t stand behind everything my teachers have ever said or done in the interest of yoga. They are human beings, and don’t profess themselves to be ‘gurus’. While I have been so blessed to find a handful of gracious, honest and down to earth teachers, the most valuable aspect of my yoga path has been enriched outside the doors of any one studio by the teachings of many, yoga teachers and non-teachers alike.
Sublime Sunday with Joo Teoh
After a much needed 2 hour nap with Louis, I had a rare opportunity to practice in Joo’s class at the Life Centre in Notting Hill. With 16 of us squeezed into the loft studio, I was surprised how easily Joo, at well over 6′, navigatbottle space and led the group through a lovely gentle dynamic flow that seemed to make the most of the room.
There were plenty of options for all levels of practice, and enabled the whole body, first piece by piece, then as an integrated unit, to expand and release overworked muscles. Joo himself has a gentle, calm mannerism that enables the practitioner to explore their own practice in the confines of the class.
If you are looking for a softer dynamic practice on a Sunday afternoon, make sure to check out Joo’s class. He’s limiting his teaching at the moment due to his other profession in branding ( where he’s currently involved with the Olympics 2012), so get there early as the room does fill up.
Thanks for the warmth, Joo!
Lizzie’s Class Schedule February 2012
CLASS SCHEDULE(see below for restorative class dates at Indaba)
PREBOOK: WORKSHOP MARCH 4
Aversion to Inversions at Indaba Yoga Studio 1-4pm (postponed from February 5th due to snow)
FEBRUARY 2012
Monday:
6:30-7:45pm Life Centre, Islington
Tuesday:
12:45-2:00pm Life Centre, Notting Hill
Wednesday:
9:30-11am Indaba Yoga Studio, Marylebone
8:15-9:30pm Life Centre, Notting Hill
Thursday:
6-7:15pm Indaba Yoga Studio, Marylebone
Friday:
9:30-11:00 Indaba Yoga Studio, Marylebone
4-5:30pm Indaba Yoga Studio, Marylebone
Saturday:
9:30-11:00am Indaba Yoga Studio, Marylebone
Restorative Sundays at Indaba (covering for Netta Imber):
10:00-11:30am
Sunday, February 26
Sunday, March 11
Learnings from Lizzie’s 30 Day Yoga Challenge
With the 30 Day Yoga Challenge over, there is a lot to contemplate. Originally planned rather haphazardly to extend outwards into the wider London yoga community and to break myself out of my preferences for certain yoga classes and teachers, far more came up than I imagined. As a result I have learned both personally and professionally, and even made a couple of new friends along the way. Most valuable for me have been the themes that revealed themselves in my practice as well as my personal life during this past month.
SANTOSHA
The word in sanskrit for contentment, or satisfaction is santosha. One of the niyamas, santosha is about being satisfied with things exactly as they are; not requiring any more or any less, instead, maintaining that everything is exactly as it should be. I’ve spent a lot of time speculating on this idea this month, as a yoga teacher and student, as a mother, as a human being. It’s so easy to find fault in ourselves and others, and often much more challenging to accept wholeheartedly what is. This is true whether contemplating the asana practice, assessing how well one has done one’s job, accepting the opportunities available at any given time, or one’s limitations. We are all doing the best we can given our current life situations, and, try as we may, it is impossible and debilitating to compare ourselves to anyone else. We are all unique.
VAIRAGYA
The concept of santosha has a direct relationship with the word vairagya, meaning dispassionate or non attachment. When we are content with what is, it is far easier to practice non-judgement, to remain impartial. When engaged in a critique of a movie, a piece of art, a book, or a yoga studio, there are always aspects that are primarily subjective, based on our own preferences and aversions, but there are also aspects that are more objective. One of the challenges in this month has been discerning the difference between the two and trying to be as objective as possible. As time permits me to read back on these posts, I may well have to glue my jaw back on as I discover just how opinionated I actually was in my writings.
SAMSAYA
The feeling of doubt is one of the nine obstacles to the practice of yoga as set forth in sutra 1.30 of The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Samsaya means doubt, or indecision in Sanskrit. When we are uncertain about our path, who our teacher is, what we want to focus on in our lives, things become fuzzy, and we may end up floundering. For example, if you practice with two different yoga teachers and they each tell you how to practice a pose differently, this may lead to indecision and doubt about how to practice. This has come up often for me as a Jivamukti teacher and practitioner of several different styles of yoga. Lately I have had many doubts about my teaching and bodywork style, and have been indecisive about which way to evolve. This challenge has highlighted some of these doubts as I have practiced with such a variety of teachers and styles of yoga. One thing does seem to be clear, and that is which teachers and styles don’t appeal to me (or is that simply my preferences and aversions rearing their ugly head?).
SHRADDHA
The antedote to samsaya, shraddha means faith; knowing without a shred of doubt that there is something bigger, more supreme than yourself behind the wheel. This is the ultimate form of surrender, enabling the doer to come back to contentment and joy at whatever presents itself. Raised agnostic, I never had any faith until I began practicing yoga regularly, and because of this, my faith is very much tied to my practice. When I have doubts, when I feel I’m slipping into the role of ‘victim’, I use my time on the mat or on the cushion to bring myself back to the many choices available. Knowing there is always a choice is empowering, and working through negative mental subtexts with the optin of letting go is perhaps the most powerful choice there is. This month I have felt frustrated, at times even disconnected from my faith due to the change in practice mode. I have spent more time ‘doing’ yoga than practicing yoga, and it’s time for me to reconnect to my personal guiding light.
There is so much more to write, but I’m not publishing a book, it’s just a little blog post. Having said this, its about to get a few words longer still because I wanted to also briefly mention ASMITA, the ego. We all have one, and more than once I felt mine flair in judgement mode about a teacher’s style or particular yoga studio. I have also spent time questioning ‘who am I’ to judge or critique another teacher’s class. I never intended this to be a critique, but it’s simply a natural progression when taking a yoga class a day at different studios with different teachers to have an opinion about them. Some will resonate, some won’t. Some will be inspiring and safe for the body, some won’t. I guess I feel ok in having published my experiences because I wasn’t doing anything out of ill intention, and at the end of the day we all entitled to our opinions and to have a voice.
I chose the classes For the challenge primarily due to my schedule and proximity, and for this reason I wanted to point out that there are a number of great teachers whose classes I really wanted to attend, but was simply unable to in the course of this month. As a result, I took a number of mediocre classes with teachers I had never heard of. I will continue to take as many classes with different teachers as I can manage, but perhaps I will go about choosing the teachers in a more strategic way, for example, visiting teachers I know and love a little more frequently, and finding new teachers based on recommendations rather than choosing names out of a hat. I would also like to return to the classes I didn’t love, knowing that we all have off days.
Signing off for now, thanks for following my little yoga adventure.
Day 28, Lizzie’s 30 Day Yoga Challenge
For the forth time this week, I’ve been denied engaging actively with my body. The universe is nothing short of blatant in telling me to back off asana practice for now, as much as my preferentially attached mind wants to hit the mat and engage with the physical. Taking from Pema Chōdron’s analogy, I have had an itch (to practice asana), and my mindfulness practice has been becoming aware of that, acknowledging it, and staying with it without scratching. Instead, I’ve surrendered to letting this path unfold.
Today I attended Zhenja’s 4 hour workshop for teachers with the theme of Puja, assuming for there would be an aspect of asana practice as I heard the previous weekends’ workshops with Zhenja were quite asana intensive. Instead, it was a four hour exploration of the concept of puja and the Anusara method for creating puja in a class. It was quite interesting to gain insight into this style of yoga with such a structured framework and language of its own, and valuable as an exercise for creating focus, rationale and sequencing relevant to a class’ esoteric focus.
The best part of the workshop was Zhenja herself. Intelligent, down to earth, authentic and energetic, Zhenja was present throughout the entire workshop as an approachable, passionate, inquisitive yogi, ambassador to the Anusara method and disciple of Jon Friend. There was no posturing, just respect and palpable love. Even towards the end when energy began to drop, Zhenja made her way around to the smaller groups to help regain the focus.
Meanwhile, my experience of Anusara yoga continues to unfold. I’m challenged by the shiny, contemporary packaging of the ancient teachings and practicing reserving judgement…after all, these newer methods are devised in part to articulate the vastness of the history and teachings of yoga in a more approachable way. Watch this space….and tomorrow, the 29the Day of the Yoga Challenge, holds a wild card; let’s see where the practice and the challenge lead me…
Teaching Yoga and Meditation to Doctors
On Wednesday afternoon I found myself at St. Mary’s hospital in the presence of 35 GPs teaching them a class on yoga, meditation and relaxation. Having grown up in a medical family and very often in the role of ‘patient’, it was refreshing to, for once, share some of my knowledge with the physicians. I observed the group without the stethoscopes and dangling name tags; they behaved as any other social group in a position of exposinga new aspect of themselves to their peers. Not unlike a high school class, at first there was nervous laughter, joking around and ambivalence during the warm up. Eventually the whole group relaxed and embraced the movement as well as the breathing exercises, even in the middle of their busy day. The relaxation at the end crescendo’d into an orchestra of snores.
I know there are many critics of the NHS, but I was impressed at the initiative to offer alternative methods for the physicians to stay healthy in mind and body; this was one of a series of ‘lectures’ offering alternate perspectives on ‘medical’ subject matter. I can’t imagine this happening in the US at a free hospital. I would love to be told otherwise!
I so appreciated having the opportunity to take the yoga practice outside the studio and into the world. Om shanti.
Learnings from Week 2: Lizzie’s 30 Day Yoga Challenge
This week was dramatically different for me compared to the first week of the challenge. Taking some of my learnings from the first week into consideration, I chose classes that were generally longer in length (2, 2-hour classes, 2, 3-hour workshops), and had one day for self practice which was very meaningful from a more meditative and reflective standpoint. At the end of the second week I feel more fulfilled, more grounded and at the same time expansive. Thanks to all the great teachers who were so generous with their energy and teachings.
I have stuck with studios I know so far, which is partly due to the schedules and proximity and yoga methods I know and enjoy. I’m going to do my best to break out of that habit this week (Evolve is on the schedule for Thursday, and I’m slated to go to a pilates and dance class tomorrow at Tri Chelsea for something totally different!) I have questioned whether or not I should try a Bikram class or a Yotopia class in heat with weights, but I’m not sure what the point would be. I can’t imagine enjoying it, but maybe that’s one of the evolving themes of the challenge, to give new things, and things I have a misconception of, a chance. Stay tuned….
